What now?

I'm restless, I'm all discombobulated inside. I know (or think I know) that God has called me to a life of service to Him. I have had the presumed understanding with Him that this is walked out in full time ministry. However, now I am second guessing that calling and wondering if what I have been called to is for another season of my life. See, I am not seeing the financial provision that I assumed would be there when I stepped out in faith months ago.

I'm trying hard to evaluate my motivations and don't want to live a life of fear. I don't want to forsake faith for self sufficiency. I also don't want to be stupid but have wisdom for daily living. There has to be a balance between faith and wisdom.

The Israelites had it pretty easy. They had the cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night to follow. It was relatively easy to do the will of God. Seems crazy to me that they still had doubts about God's provision in their lives. My word, he was dropping food from heaven every day for them to eat. I assume their clothes didn't wear out either. Even though they lived among miracles everyday they still doubted God's provision and His ability to take care of them.

God, give me clear direction. I just want a cloud to follow or a pillar of fire to tell me where to go. Above all else, please drop manna from heaven and show me your provision in my life. Make it obvious to me that it is You.