Don't Look Back

Do you remember reading about Lot in the Old Testament? He was Abraham’s nephew who wound up living in Sodom. Most of us know what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah. They were the two cities where sin was running rampant and the righteous judgment of the Lord was looming on the horizon. Eventually fire and brimstone rained down on them and all inside died.  

Well before that supernatural storm, two angels came to Lot’s door to rescue Lot and his family from the impending doom, but only he, his wife, and their two daughters left. For some reason Lot’s sons-in-law thought it was a joke.  Lot, his wife, and their two daughters didn’t really want to go either but did.  Literally, the angels had to hold their hands and pull them away from their home in that sin-filled town.

Then the angels gave pretty specific directions to Lot and his family saying, “Escape for your life! Do not look behind you, and do not stay anywhere in the valley, escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away,” (Genesis 19:17).

3 out of the 4 members of this little nuclear family obeyed the angels. One did not. The wife looked back. Instantly, she was turned into a pillar of salt.

 The family was emotionally tied to Sodom—it was their home.  The command to “not look back,” was a way for them to start breaking from the past. When we look back at our pasts with longing and with a desire to go back to “the way things were” we lose out on the new thing that God is birthing. Sometimes, “the way things were” isn’t very healthy or righteous. We need to run from those things and head for the hills.

The idea of “not looking back” has been a theme this year for me.  God has been changing my life so drastically and shaving stuff off that could be looked back on with longing.  He has told me over and over to “not look back” but to know that He is all. He will provide for every need I shall have in my life whether physical, emotional, or spiritual.

This year, God had me escaping “the way things were” and providing me with the journey of letting go of the emotions of my past including the sense of security that money provides, and the sense of direction a degree provides. He has given me this year to distance myself from desiring these things emotionally anymore.  2010 has been a year of running to the hills and looking forward at what God has in store for the next chapter of my life.

What has the theme been for you in 2010? Pause and pray about where He is going to take you in 2011. Any scriptures come to mind?

Quiet Moments

Gifts are a beautiful part of the Christmas season. We have been following in the Magi's footsteps for centuries by giving each other gifts. I want to challenge you to do something new this year in the gift category. Whether out buying a gift or at home crafting a gift, decide to use that time in prayer for the recipient of the gift. 

Take this week of gift giving, and intercede for the people who will be receiving the gifts you have gotten for them. Pray that they will know the Savior in a bold new way this year. Pray that their faith will be deepened and that they will have a craving for the Word of God like they have never had before.

May He open up conversations for you this week with those seeking the Savior. May your joy be evident--even at the grocery store with all your kids in tow when the clerk tells you they just ran out of what you were there to pick up. (wink)

Rejoice for unto us a King is born! He is our Wonderful Counselor, our Mighty King, our Immanuel.

Know Beyond Knowing

When I was in high school, I had a thought that God had to be more than a flannel graph character in the children's Sunday school lesson. God had to be bigger than asking Noah to build an arky-arky. God had to be more than Father Abraham and his many sons..stand up, turn around, sit down, amen! (remember those songs?)

I began to have a deep craving for the Divine. A longing to know God in a way that I hadn't known Him before. A desire to have His magnificent shadow pass over me--to feel His presence. I wanted to touch, taste, see, hear, and feel Him. It wasn't enough anymore to study the Bible and see maps of where Jesus and Paul had walked. I wanted more.

To be enveloped by Love, Himself, had to be possible. If it wasn't possible, why had I chosen to lay down my life: my hopes and dreams for a flannel graph character? I began crying out to the Father of Lights who gives good and perfect gifts, begging Him to reveal His presence to me. Nightly, I would kneel in my bedroom waiting for Him to come.

Then one night, He came. In that single moment, alone in my bedroom, I knew beyond knowing that God was real. Yahweh was more than a flannel graph character or a Sunday school song.  I knew beyond knowing that I was safe in laying my life, my hopes and dreams, down before Him. His presence invaded my life and I have never been the same.

Why should I share this...my sacred night...with you? Simple, many of you haven't had a sacred night with the King. Many of you have been roaming around wondering if God is anything more than a character in a book. You wonder if He is anything more than a man who once walked the earth, you wonder if He is anything more than a church service.

Close your door and come before Him. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Ask Him to meet you where you are in the center of all your doubts. In the center of all your knowing. He will come. He will meet you. You will know beyond knowing that God is real. You will know that His heart is love and it beats forgiveness. You have been mercifully loved. You have been extravagantly loved.  You have been gracefully loved.

Safe Word

Many families have a "safe word" in place. Simply, when a child is away from home and someone unknown to that child (i.e. a stranger) suggests to the child that the parent has sent him/her to pick up the child and take them home--the child can ask for the "safe word". Should the stranger know the safe word, the child then knows this person has been sent from a parent and they are safe with this person. Should the stranger not know the safe word, the child knows this person isn't safe and; therefore, shouldn't go anywhere with him/her.

Now that you know the concept of the "safe word," I want to alert you to the fact that God has set up a "safe word" with us--His children. It is called the Bible. In this book are dozens of illustrations, quotes, prophesies, and warnings that will help us to recognize Him--to know His voice.

When we hear different words as we go about our day suggesting anything contrary to the Word of God, we know not to go with it. For example, I have been bombarted with this word over the years, "Who are you? You aren't anyone special. Why would anyone want to be friends with you?" Yes, I used to come across this antagonistic message frequently.

I know this doesn't line up with the Word of God. So, now I say back to this stranger, "Nope, can't go there with you. Lord, take this message away. I choose to rely on Your Word for encouragement and strength." Funny thing, this stranger comes around less and less these days.

The key concept in all of this is the fact that the Holy Spirit will NEVER say anything that is contrary to the safe word--the Word of God. We are free to go with Him whenever He speaks. In able to discern if it is the Holy Spirit or if it is a stranger, we must be grounded in the Word of God. This is our plumb line for truth.

Books by Christian authors, speakers on Christian radio, and yes, even our pastors are not the plumb line for truth in our lives. It is the infallible inerrant Word of God. Infallible means to be completely trustworthy, dependable, and certain. Inerrant means it is true without possibility of being in error.  Mere men will fail at times. We can depend on one thing with men--they will be in error at some point. Their perceptions will shift, or they may go off with a stranger and try to say that stranger knows the safe word. Only the Word of God is dependable in being free from error. It is incapable of being false.

Knowing that the Word of God is incapable of being false and that we can trust it wholely, why do so many believers choose to not know the safe word? Why do we go off with various strangers that teach the latest trends? Why do we not test the Spirits as it says to do in 1 John 4:1, "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world."

I want to submit to you that it is because certain Christians have been "burned" by the church. Somewhere along their journey, they encountered a pastor or a fellow parishoner who spoke legalism over them saying it was the Word of God. Because they didn't know the safe word, they believed what was being said and now...they don't want to return to the Word of God--to the perfect (inerrant) Word of God because they are believing the lie told to them by a stranger.

So these believers search out mere men to translate the Word to them so they never have to sit under that legalism again. The problem is--they are still believing a lie. The Word of God is life giving. It is full of grace and mercy. It is not a chain that we, Lovers of the Word, are bound under.

Oh beloved daughter of the King, open the Word, eat of the sweetness, know your Father's heart for you. Know that He gives good gifts and we have at our disposal the best gift of all--His Word. Pray for the wounded hearts who are tired of living under man's law disguised as the Word of God. Pray they will be restored to the Beautiful life giving  freedom  that comes from knowing the Father's voice clearly.

Maybe legalism isn't what keeps you from the Word. Maybe you are saying, "That's all great, but I just don't understand the Bible. It isn't written for us today. I don't get it." Well, there is a Helper who longs to teach you the truth that is found in the Word. He is the Holy Spirit. Before you open your bible today, pray a simple prayer asking Him to open your heart and your eyes to what He wants to teach you. He will teach you. He will grow your desire for the Word of God in your life. Before you know it, you will have a deep longing to be in the Word daily. There will be an attraction to this marvelous Truth that you didn't have before.

The next step is to find a Bible study where you can sit under someone who can help you discern the Word of God. Someone who can guide you through the more difficult passages. Someone who can point you to the tools needed for further study and understanding. Things like context, history, and original languages will be invaluable to unearthing treasures in the Word.

May your appetites be changed. May you desire the Word of God in your daily life. May it be as sweet to you as a chocolate truffle. Enjoy your safe journey!

Friend

Yesterday, I had breakfast with a friend that I haven't seen in a good long while. There was a season in our lives when we were much more connected. My first inclination is to say it is the busy-ness of life that has pulled us away, but I do believe there has been more to it. See, the Lord brings people in and out of our lives in various seasons.

A year or so ago, she and I were walking a very similar path and God had put us together to encourage each other. Our assignments changed and God brought other lovely people into our lives and distanced the two of us. So breakfast yesterday was a sweet gift from the Lord.

She spoke truth and wisdom to me. There was a moment in time when the Spirit said to me before she starting speaking, "This is me speaking to you, not her." As she was speaking, the tears of comfort were welling up in my eyes and spilling down my cheeks.

With all the changes that are going on in my personal life, it was such a special kiss from the Lord to have this time with her.

May we all be blessed with those friends He has placed in our lives at various seasons. Thank Him for those He has placed around you for such a time as this.

The Beautiful Tapestry

Think of the Bible as a colorful tapestry that has been beautifully woven together with 66 different strands of yarn. Each strand symbolizes a book of the Bible. God, in His supremacy, wove the scriptures together; therefore, none of the strands can stand alone.

There is a danger in tugging too hard on just one strand. The rest of the tapestry could become distorted. However, the longer we walk with the Spirit, the more gingerly we will analyze each strand in light of the complete tapestry of the Word of God.

The Holy Spirit becomes our teacher in the study of the Word. Jesus says in John 14:26, "But the helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you."

When we study the Bible, we are disciplining our minds to slow down, in order to absorb all the rich color that a particular strand of the tapestry contains.

After studying the Word of God, it is my prayer that you know the Master Weaver better, that His character, beauty, and majesty will have been lifted off the tapestry and into your heart. He is a good God and greatly to be praised, AMEN

Sweetest Thing

I have tried to sit down and study the book of Ezekiel a few times. Seriously, I just don't get a lot of it. I will read and reread passages and look up to heaven like a deer caught in the headlights...clueless. Well, a few weeks ago I was prompted to read the first 3 chapters of Ezekiel. I wasn't super excited about this since it is a difficult book for me.

"Alright Lord...You want me to read this then You better show me what You want me to learn," was my hasty beginning prayer. Like He needs me to throw this threat up to Him. Oh my! Then I started reading and guess what?! I was lost by verse 5. So I finished reading what I was supposed to read and sat there a little dazed.

Since then, I have pieced this passage together with other similar passages in the Bible such as Psalm 119:103, Daniel 8-10, Revelation 4 & 10, Isaiah 6, etc... but still needed to chew on what God was saying to me. Why was He bringing me to Ezekiel 1-3? What was in this passage that He wanted to show me?

So this morning, Ezekiel's perplexing heavenly vision and assignment from the Lord came back into my mind. I opened the Scriptures and reread this passage. To better grasp what I was reading, I drew a picture of the vision on a piece of paper. Then realized it wasn't in the scenery. God wasn't showing me something about the creatures or the wheels. (curious to read the passage yet?) I pressed onward in prayer.

God was showing me something about the assignment He gave to Ezekiel. There is something to eating the scrolls and having the mourning that was written on them taste as sweet as honey, (Ez.3:3). There is something to opening our mouths, chewing, and ingesting the sweetness of the Word of God. There is a transformation that occurs when we allow the Word of God to penetrate our heart and fill our body.

These words can pierce us and cause us discomfort. Simultaneously, they bring a sweet freedom to our soul.  There is a sweet pain associated with healing. The Spirit will use the scripture to root out those lies from the enemy we have believed. He will also use the scripture as a balm to cover us.

There is something to the Word of God sustaining our life. We must be rooted in the Word, for our fruit to be pleasing to Him. We must allow the Spirit to nourish us with Truth. We must take His Word to our heart and all that we say or do is an outward expression of our primary covenant relationship with Him. It may cause our stomach to be bitter at times while our appetites are changing, but it will be as sweet as honey in our mouth and we will be free.

Scriptures for mediation: Ezekiel 2:8-3:3; Psalm 119:103; Revelation 10:2,8; Matthew 15:17-19

...with all my mind

When I was in second grade, I wanted to be an attorney. My aunt worked for a law firm in Chicago and I so badly wanted to ride the train into the city wearing fancy clothes and sit at a huge desk in a tall building. That year for Christmas, my aunt gave me all sorts of notepads and legal forms stuffed into a “legal sized” envelope. The rest of that winter, I played lawyer constantly. I was over the moon!

As the years clicked by, I went through a million of these phases. I wanted to be an architect, then a fashion designer, then a teacher, etc… I’m sure you can look back on your childhood and see much of the same. Maybe you wanted to be a nurse, or a secretary, or a stay-at-home mom.

Once I became a disciple of Jesus, I was hungry for His purposes. I didn’t want to be an architect, or a fashion designer, or a teacher if He didn’t want me to be. I started to be transformed into the woman that He desires me to be.

He may purpose some of us to be attorneys, teachers, nurses, secretaries, or stay-at-home-moms. Regardless, can you say, “Your will be done.” Are you walking each day growing in love and understanding of the Savior? May we crave His Word. May we be transformed by the renewing of our minds. May we allow the Spirit movement in our hearts to bring understanding.

The Issue is Never the Issue

The issue is never the issue. This profound statement was reinforced to me on Black Friday at 3:30 AM while in line at K-Mart. I thought the reason why I was standing in line outside a retail store in the dark of the morning was to spare our slim budget from loosing too many bucks this holiday season.

I soon realized it was to hear a woman in her early 20's detail her brush with death as she fought the cancer that had tried vehemently to kill her and her unborn baby.  She was told she had cancer in one sentence, and with the next breathe the doctors informed her that she would most likely die that night. Now a year into remission, she was able to reflect back on what she went through to the friend she was with and to her new comrades who stood in the freezing temperatures for two hours with her.

Gently, the Spirit prompted me to begin praying for her silently. There was so much hurt in her voice, so much broken anger towards God who would let this cancer, that had quickly taken over her body, kill her baby. I didn't share with her the 4 spiritual laws. I didn't recite John 3:16, rather in the spirit, I fell before the throne of grace and wept for this girl. I begged the God of the Universe to comfort her.

The issue is never the issue. The issue gets us to the place where the Lord wants us, but He has a greater purpose for moving us there. The issue of the saving money got me to the Black Friday line at 3:30 AM, but the issue of this gal's brokenness got me before the throne interceding for her spiritual healing.

What issue is God using in your life to get you to the real issue? What physical trial or celebration are you walking through and what is he teaching you or directing you to do with it?

A Yosemite Thanksgiving

Today, on the day we proclaim our Thanksgiving, I woke up melencholy--Not feeling very thankful at all. It frustrates me when my emotions don't feel what I want them to feel. Does that ever frustrate you? Feeling sad when you want to be happy, or feeling afraid when you know perfectly well that you are safe.

Dreams have a way of crippling us with fear when we are completely safe, tucked in bed. When I was in elementary school, I was plagued with horrible, terrifying nightmares for a season. I can remember exactly what they were too. Even now as I sit here, some 28 years later, I can see them. What made them so horrible wasn't what was going on in the nightmare, because that was actually very benign (I'll explain in a sec). What rocked me to the core was the emotion that was connected to the dream.

In my nightmares, I was usually being chased. My attacker usually wanted to kill me.  Sometimes, I was chased by scarely people but mostly I was chased by Yosemite Sam from the Bugs Bunny cartoons. [See, isn't that benign?] Watching those cartoons, I was never afraid of Yosemite Sam, ever. Yosemite Sam isn't really scary. For some reason in my dream, I was terrified of being chased by him.

I would wake up and creep to my door. Then, still gripped by the fear from the dream, would look both ways out my hallway praying that Yosemite Sam wouldn't be there. I would sit there for what felt like hours, but was probably more like seconds.

Sometimes, I would see him down at the end of the hallway with guns drawn ready to shoot me if I ran across to my parents room. My heart would beat so hard, I thought he would hear it.  Eventually, I would work up enough courage to crawl very fast to my parents room and colapse on their floor knowing my dad would protect me from Yosemite Sam.

As time went on, my parents grew weary of night after night, me crawling into their room and falling asleep on their floor. I could never bring myself to tell them what the dreams were about because I knew that I wasn't being chased by Yosemite Sam. I knew he wasn't at the end of the  hallway night after night, ready to shoot me. I knew I was safe.

It was so frustrating to me that my emotions weren't lining up with reality. My mom did end up taking me to our pastor to discuss my fears and he guided me to pray that God would protect me when I would have a bad dream and eventually the dreams faded and Yosemite Sam gave up the chase.

Why would I tell you all this story on Thanksgiving? There were no pilgrims or indians present at all. Just a crazy kid who had a wild imagination that seemed to go into overdrive at night. Well, I know there are many of you who have mismatched emotions. You are fearful even though you are perfectly safe gripped in the Father's hand.

There are many of us that from time to time don't have emotions that line up with reality. Reality is the Truth that is in the scriptures, and not my circumstances. I don't want my emotions to line up with my circumstances, that would be bad news for me. No, I want my emotions to line up with the Truth that is present in the Word of God.

But, what do we do when we are having one of those "off" days? When we don't see the Truth only our bleak circumstances?

For me, it is to praise the Maker of the Universe-- to adore His name. I don't ask Him for anything, I don't "vent" my circumstances to Him. Rather, I praise Him for all He is. I praise Him for being a good God. and full of loving kindness. I meditate on Isaiah 6, the imagery of the throne room. He brings my emotions back in line to His reality. Then no matter the circumstance, I can sit in the truth of the Word of God.

All that I have...isn't enough

I am keenly aware that all I have isn't enough. My resources cannot satisfy. I will never provide the perfect parenting for my children. I will never be the perfect wife for my husband. I will never make enough money, or do a perfect job at work. I will always come up short, no matter how hard I try.

Somewhere in all the inadequacies, I find deep peace and contentment. I know that God will fill in the void. He will come to my rescue over and over and over again. He will provide what is lacking in my life, whatever it may be. There is a fantastic illustration of this in the gospel of Matthew. Matthew 15: 32-38 tells the story of Jesus feeding the 4000 people who had come for healing.

It reads, "And Jesus called His disciples to Him and said, '...I do not want to send them away hungry, for they might faint on the way.' The disciples said to Him, 'Where would we get so many loaves in this desolate place to satisfy such a large crowd?' and Jesus said to then, 'How many loaves do you have?'" Then in verse 37 the gospel says, "And they ate and were satisfied, and they picked up what was left over of the broken pieces, seven large baskets full."

These few verses hold so much promise for us. I stand amazed! First, Jesus' compassion didn't end with healing all that ailed the people, He wanted to feed them too. Lord, may we be a people who want to walk people into healing and meet their basic physical needs too.

Second, Jesus uses what we have. The disciples had a mere picnic for 2: 7 loaves of bread and few fish. God will use what we have--all that we have. Here's the best part: what we have...isn't enough. What a merciful God who fills in the gaps. It was obvious that 7 loaves of bread and a few fish weren't going to feed 4,000 people.

Third, God wants to partner with us. Jesus, didn't just conjure up the entire dinner on His own. No, He used what the disciples had and added to it.  He wants to use us and the gifts that He has given us. He isn't going to let our contribution go to waste and do it all Himself. He wants us to partake in what He is doing.

Lastly, He brings the satisfaction. What I have to contribute won't satisfy.  I will always find lack in me. Ahhh, but the God of the Universe will provide for the lack. He will gladly add to what I bring to the table and I will walk away satisfied. You will walk away satisfied--full of His goodness, full of His strength, full of His love.

Quite the Adventurous, Unpredictable God We Serve!

Last year, the Spirit told me to go to TN. I didn't know where in TN to go or what I was do to once I arrived. So, I started praying. Friday morning (Jan.1) was no different. I was praying for TN and through a serious of websites found out about a conference that was going on that weekend in Nashville.


I began to pray for the conference, the speakers, and the attendees. I had never heard of the woman who was going to be speaking that day, but knew that God was going to move at that gathering. As I was praying for this ministry, God said, "Get up and go!"

There was no hesitation at the moment. Shoot, I have been praying for this for a year! I went upstairs and told Michael that today was the day that I was going to TN and did he want to come with me. He said sure and within the hour we had left for a HUGE ADVENTURE with God!

I was numb for the first 2 hours, thinking, "What am I doing? What have I roped my family into?" Then a peaceful calm, like only the Spirit can bring, came over me and I was able to relax. Once we got to Nashville, butterflies took flight in my stomach. I was soooo excited to see what God was going to do at this meeting. I had no idea why I was there or what was going to happen but I knew God was going to move!

We went to a conference hosted by Powerhouse Ministries and Sandy Powell. At this weekend conference--which we only went to one session--many modern day Prophets were sharing what the Lord was speaking for 2010. We missed everyone but Sandy and a man from her ministry.

She gave a wonderful message and then began a time of ministry. She called for all ministry leaders to come up for prayer. I jumped out of my seat and walked down for prayer. When it was my turn, I walked to this loving couple and told them that I didn't know why I was there or anything about this group but I was excited to be there!

This couple prayed and prophesied over me for what seemed like hours but was really more like 15 minutes. They gave confirmation after confirmation of things I have felt the Spirit saying for the past year--down to the exact phrases that I have written down in my notes.

What a sweet night it was to be soaked in affirmation and confirmation by the Spirit through brothers and sisters that I have never met and probably will never see this side of heaven again.

As we drove home, I can say that the Lord was with us and it was so good to follow Him in his perfect timing to TN. What an unpredictable God we serve!

So, what does being led by the Spirit look like in your life? Do you hear that still small voice speaking to you? Do you follow what He says?

Start From The Beginning

Think about it... How often does the "beginning" play a part in the present? Answers to these questions: What was your childhood like, When did you step into life with Christ, and How did you meet your spouse;  play a part in our current lives. Our beginnings are pivotal in how we see the present.

One beginning that plays a huge role in all our lives is found in Genesis 1-3. You think you may know this story inside and out saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, the snake and the woman talking about how delicious that apple must taste."

However, I want to challenge you to head back to that passage and reread it...very slowly...noticing things like:

Where was Adam formed?
What was the role of the man and woman in 1:28, did the man have a different role than the woman?
What did God say to Adam concerning the trees in the middle of th garden vs. what Eve said that God said?
Where was Adam was during this whole discussion between Eve and the serpent?
Who was cursed and who was disciplined?
Who performed the first sacrifice and why?
Where is the tree of life today? (Revelation 2:7, Revelation 22:2,14,) hmmm, interesting, huh?

Did you come away with any new insights? What did the Spirit show you from this passage? Do you see a part of God's character that you hadn't seen before?

Sidenote: Sometimes God disciplines us to protect us from what could have been (Genesis 3:22-23).

Yes, Mom

At our house when either my husband or myself give our kids a direction, they are expected to reply in a certain way. We expect to hear, "Yes Mom/Dad," or "Yes Mommy/Daddy," depending on their age. Many times it goes something like this...

"Would you like to pick up your room now or in 5 minutes?" I ask.
"5 minutes"
5 minutes later...
"Its time to go pick up your room." I say
Sighing heavily and with great angst in his/her voice, "Yeesss Moooom"

Hmmmm...the reply was appropriate. I received the "Yes Mom," and the action was obedient--the room was picked up, but the heart is far from me. I want more than a clean room, I want my children's heart. I want them to understand and be in agreement that a clean room is a good thing.

How my kids react is often  how we react to God. He gives us choices, and we pick them. However, when it comes down to the obeying part, we often reply with a heavy sigh and with great angst. Our hearts are far from Him. We don't understand, we aren't like-minded with our Father. We may even be rebellious internally while we are obeying externally.

God wants our hearts. He wants a tender heart willing to joyfully follow Him and to do whatever He asks of us, even the hard stuff. Jesus is quoted by Matthew as saying, "I desire compassion and not sacrifice." Jesus is after a heart full of mercy and compassion. That mercy and compassion is extended to our actions. Hosea 6:6 says it this way, "For I delight in loyalty rather than sacrifice, And in the knowledge of God rather than sacrifice."

Jesus isn't after someone who keeps the traditional Christian values or regular church attendance. He is after a soul that longs for His presence. He is after a heart that worships Him above all. Isaiah details out a message from the LORD in the first chapter of his book. In this chapter, God tells His people that all our festivals and appointed feasts (traditions) have become a burden to Him. What He is after is a heart that is clean--that reflects His love in actions such as ceasing to do evil, seeking justice, defending the orphan, and pleading for the widow.

This stuff is hard. It requires compassion and mercy. It is a lot more time consuming than heading to a festival or a feast to meet an attendance quota.

May we be a people that love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and mind. May our interior love for the Father be translated to the exterior. May we seek justice, defend the orphan, and plead for the widow. May we love with the unconditional love of the Father. May our hearts be soft and close to Him. May our obedience be heartfelt.

Do You Trust Me? Do You Trust Me, Now?

Verizon Wireless used to have this highly successful multi-media marketing campaign with a guy who would move from location to location while on his cell phone. He would ask the questions, “Can you hear me? Can you hear me now?” to the person he was talking to on the phone.


During this life, God walks with us through experience after experience. At certain times, He asks the questions, “Do you TRUST me? Do you TRUST me now?” I have to say, if that is the follow-up question to a situation, chances are it isn’t a pleasant experience to walk through.

I know for me, I usually want to quickly learn whatever there is to learn and get out—never to return. There is never an idea of being patient or content in a trial…at first.

However, the longer I have walked with the Savior and the more experiences this life has brought, I have learned that the goal isn’t always the destination but it is the journey. I have learned to be content in the trial and patient for His hand to move.

I know He will move in all my circumstances, I know that He will work all things to His glory, and this hope—this trust in who He is—gives me great peace and provides me with the patience to endure. Now, I can say with confidence, “YES! I trust you. I trust you now.”

James 2:2-5; Galatians 5:22

Nothing More, Nothing Less

Lately, I have just been resting in the fact that there is nothing more I can do to make God love me more than He already does AND there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less.

There is no amount of church attendance, ministry volunteering, or rule following that will make Him love me more. All that He requires is a clean heart. Only God can create a clean heart by the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. You can sit and rest! That realization that it is all God and not you will provide the exhale necessary to live in Sabbath rest.

Furthermore, there is no sinful behavior that will make Him run for the hills and deny He knows me. His love is unconditional--without conditions. No matter if the sin is something small  or something huge on my scale--He will love me the same.

Ahhhh...He loves me for me. He doesn't love me for what I do, or what I could do--my potential. He loves me for me!

Grasping this unchanging uncondition love of God for us sets us free. Thank you Jesus! Take some time today to think about His love for you. Read and meditate on Romans 8.

...with ALL my heart

Today turned into a crazy chaotic day. The noise around me has robbed any hope for the quiet time with the Lord I so desperately wanted. The children are asking a gazillion questions about everything and nothing at the same time, the chores are screaming my name, and the to-do list is multiplying at a rapid rate.


Yet, through all this commotion, I can hear Him. I can hear Him calling my name. I can hear Him whispering His love over my life. It’s the song I hear Him sing over me that draws out of the craziness and into His arms. It’s in my knowing that He loves me endlessly that helps me push through the demands of the day. I know that rest will come to me. I know the Father will wrap me in his strength.

I am His. You are His. We are His. Everything that we are-- is His. He calls us His own.

Our calling is to live a life of loving worship to the Father of Lights. It is in worship that I give Him everything that I have or have ever wanted. It is in living a life of worship that my heart finds rest.

(writer's note: this entry originally was published in Liberty Bible Church's womens' ministry newsletter for the month of September. I wanted to share this on here since there are many who don't get that newsletter--enjoy!)

The Temporal Longs for the Eternal

I can still remember the first day I felt it. We were newly married, living in Kansas City MO, out on a bike ride. It wasn't a growing feeling, but something that hit me all of a sudden.

 I couldn't put my finger on at first. It felt like I had been up at camp all week and I just wanted to come home.

I started asking myself questions:
Am I homesick for my family? Answer: No, not to the point of feeling homesick?

Am I homesick for my hometown? Answer: No, not at all.

What could I possibly be homesick for then?

Then it hit me...and hard! I was HOMESICK FOR HEAVEN.

My physical body was groaning for the spiritual. Paul says in Romans 8:23, "And not only this, but also we ourselves having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body." This is what was happening to me, my physical body was homesick for its redemption when I will be fully restored--spirit, soul, and body--to the presence of God in heaven before His throne.

The temporal was looking to the eternal and longing for the presence of the Lord. Again Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:18, "while we look not to the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal. My temporal body was looking to the unseen God and crying out in longing for Him.

By no means am I wishing my life caught short. No, I am merely recognizing that I come from my Creator. Eventually, we will all be united with Him. It is perfectly natural as a part of creation to groan for the day when sin will be thrown down to the lake of fire once and for all.

I have had this sensation a few other times over the years, but not too often. When it does hit me, I run to prayer and thank the God of the Universe, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob for His beauty and wonder and creativity and delight. I thank Him for creating me, and delighting in me, and loving me. I thank Him for His swift return and the day when I will be free from the Sin that roams this earth.

Embrace who you are. Embrace the fact that you are an eternal spiritual being that groans for the redemption of our bodies. We groan in desire to be set free from this fallen earth. We are homesick for the Father's House.

My heart's beatful cry

My heart's beat is Jesus Christ and my heart's cry is FREEDOM! Freedom from what
keeps us down and tries to kill us. Freedom what what keeps us down and tries to woo us. Freedom from anything and everyone that tries to keep us from our First Love--from our Healer, Redeemer, and Restorer! Christ alone sets us free, and its in Christ alone that we are FREE!

This is my heart's beatful cry: to bring good news to the afflicted; to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners; to proclaim the favorable year of the LORD and the day of vengeance of our God!

Christ will break those shackles, Christ will pull the talons off our backs, Christ's healing balm will ooze over ALL our wounds and remove the scars we are carrying. Christ will direct us to Truth and away from the lies that have keep us bound up in fear!

I am FREE. You are FREE. We are FREE to live and love in the light of our Gracious Savior who has forgiven ALL our sins.Amen.

Is Your Marriage Under the Old Covenant or the New?

When I was newly married, I plunged right into my role as wife. I did the cooking, the cleaning, the grocery shopping, the organizing because this is what a "good" wife does, right? I was consumed with my role.

 Far too many people have marriages like this. Their marriages are stuck in the legalism of the roles instead of in the grace of the relationship.

Marriage is a picture of our relationship with Christ. We, as believers in Jesus Christ, are called the Bride. Ephesians 5 details out what this relationship looks like. We are to walk in love (v.2) speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs (v 19).

My heart breaks when I look around at marriages that are trying to emulate this spiritual relationship out of their own flesh. What do I mean by this? Well, many couples in the church today are living in a marriage that is under the law instead of grace.

We do what we do because we think we should. We have become more concerned with our roles as husband and wife then our relationship as husband and wife. We don't do what we do out of graceful love.

 Somehow the message of the Cross has gotten lost in the honor, respect, and obey part. The actions of our daily roles have taken center stage over the sacrificial love that Christ so sweetly demonstrated in His life and death.

Husbands and wives, it is time to put our marriages in the proper order: relationship first then roles. Let how we function in our homes flow out of our relationship with each other. Let our marriages live in the New Covenant of grace rather than the Old Covenant of the law.

Chaotic Peace

I can be organized, well educated, and compassionate towards those around me. I can be funny, relaxed, and timely. I can be lovely, proper, and giving. I can be all these things, but without the power of the Holy Spirit flowing throughout my spirit, soul, and body--I am nothing.

These mean nothing if my inner life is void of the powerful indwelling of the Spirit. He is the air I breathe, He is the breath that gets pumped throughout my body so I can function. My actions are a result of the Spirit's life in me.

He makes it possible for me to be compassionate, relaxed, lovely. He brings balance and unity to my life. Without His voice in my life, I would cease to be me.

 Sometimes my time with Him is spent in solitude on my face before Him, while other times it is spent in quiet worship and study of His Word, and sometimes it is spent walking through my daily chores conversing with Him about my family and friends.

Whatever the mood of the day, He is there with me. He longs to be with us--sharing in our lives whatever that may look like. He is in the peace, he is in the busyness, and He is in the chaos. Welcome Him into your day and embrace the Spirit's breath in your life.

"The LORD is rigtheous in all His ways

And kind in all His deeds.

The LORD is near to all who call upon Him,

To all who call upon Him in truth.

He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him;

He will also hear the cry and will save them.

The LORD keeps all who love Him,

But all the wicked He will destroy.

My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD,

And all flesh will bless His hold name forever and ever."

Psalm 145:17-21

Fall's Must Read List

A few weeks ago, a friend asked me, "What books have changed my life--my spiritual life?"  Interesting question I thought.  Here's my short list:

Obviously, the Bible. I love that I have been reading and studying that book for over 20 years and with each word I learn more of God's character. This definitely has been THE most influential book in my life.

Devotional Classics, Richard Foster

Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster

Spiritual Direction, Henri Nouwen

Grace Walk, Steve McVey

The Prodical God, Tim Keller

More than Equals: Racial Healing for the Sake of the Gospel, Spencer Perkins/Chris Rice

Absolute Surrender, Andrew Murray

Excerpt of an Adventurous Life

I have become a soccer mom. The gradual evolution started small with just a couple games for a few weeks with the local parks department and has now become games every weekend almost year round with practices up to 5 nights a week.

Recently we were traveling for a soccer tournement and my son realized he had forgotten his swim trunks at home. I agreed to head to the mall after the games and hunt down some super cheap trunks for the hotel pool. After a long day at the field, we headed to the local mall. We finally found some at Sears for $3.50! Oh, the joy of a good find! I was elated and exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to buy these trunks and get back to the hotel pool.

I grabbed the trunks and  got in the shortest line. I ended up behind a woman, who didn’t speak English, and her daughter, who was translating between her mother and the cashier. It ended up being the longest line after all. There was some sort of misunderstanding about the price of the sweater the woman was purchasing and she didn’t have the money for it.


That still small voice spoke to my heart saying, “Buy her the sweater.” I answered back, “Are you sure?” and the voice responded, “Buy her the sweater.” So, I interrupted and told the cashier that I was going to buy the sweater and handed her my debit card. The daughter, seeing what I was doing, tried to stop me saying that I didn’t need to buy her mother the sweater. They would get this sorted out. I answered back that I knew I didn’t NEED to buy the sweater. I proceeded to buy the sweater for the woman. Moments later the mother said something to her daughter which was translated, “Why?”

Prayerfully, I forwarded the question to God. Then I replied, "This is my gift to you just like Jesus’ free gift of eternal life. When you wear this sweater think of Him dying on the cross for you sins to give you eternal life.” Her eyes teared up and she thanked me.

When my children and I had left the store, they began asking me questions about what just happened. I told them that God wanted to bless that woman with the sweater, and have her think of Him whenever she wears it. He placed us in line behind her so that we could deliver His message to her. Not only was this a “divine appointment” between me, this woman, and God, but it also was a sweet teaching moment for my children.

When we walk by faith, we will act when we hear His voice. We trust that He has a purpose to those things that we can’t understand. I didn’t know the moment I bought that sweater, exactly why I was buying the sweater. I was just trusting that God knew and would work it out Himself.

Brothers and Sisters, He asks us to walk in fellowship with Him throughout our days. Anchor your day in prayer and be sensitive to His leadings. You just never know what adventure awaits you!

Grace Infused Life

I can feel my life slipping away

Being replaced by His essence

My flesh deserves no funeral

No memorial will be given

Given to unforgiveness, judgement, pride, or bitterness

Instead, I will linger under His sweet aroma

Instead, I will taste of His decadent nectar

Instead, I will sit quietly and listen for His song

Instead, I will rest my gaze on His breathtaking beauty

Instead, I will be wrapped in His soft, soothing Love

He, who is the Healer, Redeemer, and Restorer

AMEN

Living and Loving Freely

OMD has a song called "Secrets" that starts playing in my head from time to time. It has become the soundtrack to this decade old conversation I have with God. Well, maybe it isn't a conversation as much as it is me asking questions that I haven't really wanted answered.

Questions like: How do we live a life of transparent freedom in the church? I feel like so many of us live in (what I call) the "shameful secrets closet." How do we come out? Why are we choosing to live isolated and apart from each other? Would the idea of living in "community" actually happen more if we weren't so ashamed of our secrets? Would we be more free to love others? Would we be less fearful of being judged by our brothers and sisters?  Maybe this is what Jesus was getting at when he talked about the log and the speck?

I have been asking God these questions, but too afraid to hear the answers for many, many,  years. However this year, He has infused me with boldness and courage. I have become courageous enough to sit still and let Him rip. Think of me sitting on a kitchen stool with my hands white knuckling the edges and my eyes shut so tight, I am seeing psychedelic designs. None the less, I am sitting still and quiet ready to receive whatever He has to say.

I know deep down what the answer is...and it scares the poop right out of me. In order for us to live freely, we have to come out of the shameful secrets closet. We have to come to terms with our humanity and stop judging ourselves and each other. The thought of being judged makes me want to lock myself away in my closet for 100 years! I hate that feeling of being slimed on--especially by those who are supposed to have my back.

Furthermore, we have to embrace our identity. We have to stop fighting who we are--who God says we are. We need to let the shame wash away and live in the Truth of who we are in God's eyes.

In order to embrace my identity as a daughter of the King who has been picked up out of the pit, I have to believe God is who He says He is, and what He says is ultimate Truth. If He says, I am pleasing to Him, that He loves me, that my shameful sins have been washed away by the blood, and that my old (wo)man has been crucified, then it IS. My closet is barren. There are no more shameful secrets.

 By calling  myself anything other than this--I am saying God is a liar. I am questioning what He says. I'm arguing with the Maker of Heaven and Earth. I'm telling Him that I'm not who He says I am. I don't think it is a good thing to call God a liar, but I think we do it every day when we refuse to accept that we are a new creation in Christ. I am not a sinner saved by grace. I am a saint who exhibits sinful behaviors. However, my behavior is separate from my identity.


Are we ready to truly love unconditionally? Are we ready to know what sinful behaviors others have struggled with, what others have gone through? Can you love beyond the sin? Can we see the new creation more than the behavior?

Are we ready to be opened up to the possible judgement of others? I can't help but think of the lady caught in adultery. Even though she didn't open her closet door on her own, the end result was judgement from her community.  That's the feeling I am trying to avoid.

This story illustrates that we can't judge others cause we all have junk. The lady was in the act of having an affair when the men of the church grabbed her and took her to Jesus.  They were ready to stone her to death for her sins. I love what Jesus said. He simply said that the one without sin can throw the first stone.

In the end, everyone walked away from her that day cause in reality they were no better than her. They all had sin. The only one left was the one not holding a stone. He was without sin--without blemish. His love washed over her and she was never the same.

His love has washed over me and I have never been the same. I want to live and love freely.  My heart desires to see believers for who they really are--sons and daughters of the Most High. Those things I have gone through have been taken to the Father and I am FREE! Those things that you have gone through have been taken to the Father and YOU ARE FREE! We are new creations and our behavior doesn't dictate our identity.

Flying Sailboats, Typewriters, and Monkey Masks

The first story I can remember writing was about a couple of kids on a flying sailboat. They would fly from adventure to adventure saving whatever needed to be saved.

I fell in love with putting my imagination on paper. I would swoon just thinking of which words to use to describe different people or events. I would nestle into my favorite spot in my bedroom and write away the day. It felt like coming home after being away at camp--to be safely home in the folds of love.

One day, while visiting with my grandparents, my Grandma turned on her typewriter and began typing out a letter to someone. It probably was to her sister who lived in OH. They had such a close relationship. They were on the phone often with each other and would send letters with family photos back and forth through the mail.

 I loved it when my great Aunt would come to visit. Those two old birds could sit in the kitchen all day and laugh and cackle about anything. I remember when my Aunt, my Grandma's daughter, got married. My Grandma's sister brought monkey masks for the family to wear in one of our photos which we did. At the time, I thought my family was so weird--typical preteen. Now, I would give anything to go back and have my grandma and great Aunt with us again. My grandma was just so full of life. I loved her. Anyway, she was typing a letter.

The typewriter clicked and clacked away to the rhythm of my Grandma's thoughtful fingers. It was the most beautiful sound...the sound of thoughts becoming real. The sound of her inner fears and joys, her ideas and perspectives coming to the surface and breaking out onto the paper. It electrified me.

Before long, I had a typewriter of my own. I started bringing to the surface my inner thoughts and feelings and letting them break open onto the paper. I knew then, that this was a part of me. The paper became my canvas and my thoughts were the paints I used to create my mosaics.

I am a writer. I savor the taste of words in my mouth. They are like a sweet wine that I never want to swallow. Even if my words go unnoticed, I am still a writer. The reward isn't in who reads what I wrote, but in the rhythmic release of the inside to the outside. It is home.

Not mine, but Your's

All three of my kids have summer birthdays.  Each year, I take the couple days before each birthday to reflect back on their birth, their struggles, and their strengths. I have come to treasure this time and think of it as the anniversary of the day I said, "Not mine, but Yours" to the Lord.

My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. I was 22 and devastated. After spending some time grieving the loss of Simon Gad, I got pregnant again. We were elated at the thought of a baby in our house. We chose a "happy" name.  After what we just lost, we were looking for some joy.

My son, Isaac, was born in the most idyllic of situations--or so I thought.  My husband and I had recently gone through a parenting class and I was confident that we would be the perfect parents. (sighs and eye rolls now, but I was young and romantic then.)

The day after we brought our perfect little baby with 10 perfect little fingers and 10 perfect little toes home, we had to rush him back to the hospital due to an escalating fever that was reaching a critical temperature. My 3 day old underwent numerous tests including a spinal tap. I was burning with emotion and my heart was melting all over the hospital waiting room floor.

We spend the next few weeks in and out of the hospital, while the docs tried to figure out what was happening to my perfect little baby with the perfect little fingers and perfect little toes.  I remember one day in particular.

The docs filed into our hospital room and began to say things like, "We just don't know what is going on. We've run many tests and we are doing all we can. Your son may not make it." Then they filed out as robotic as they had filed in. As my son's fever was on the rise again so was my anger towards God.

I hit maximum capacity and I started silently screaming at Him. "How could you do this to me? You killed the first, and now you are taking my second? I don't know how I can follow you any longer? This isn't love!"

A very pure voice full of loving correction whispered to my soul, "Why do you think I had you name him Isaac? Put him on the altar now." I obeyed. It was the Almighty after all. Very quickly after handing my perfect little baby over to God, my anger dissipated. The Lord carried not only my son's pain but mine as well. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Even my 20 ton fear of losing another baby is light to the Divine.

No parenting book could have taught me what the Lord taught me that day. My children are a gift that God has entrusted to my care. Ultimately, they must follow Him and the path that He has for them. They are out of my grasp.  Not mine, but His.

Confessions of a People-Pleaser

 This week, I went back to the comforts of playing Church instead of being the Church! I hate it when I do this! It makes me want to scream,"counterfeit," at the top of my lungs and jump up and down yelling! The enemy is all over playing church and in being inauthentic in our relationships. He loves to see us settle with surface pleasantries instead of rolling up our sleeves and living in communion with others no matter the situation.

Playing church to me is being more concerned in the set up (wearing my Sunday best, and speaking fluent Christian-ese) than actually living life with people. When I play church, I know that I have "stuff" that people will judge me on and it is easier to close myself off and live in my dress up clothes carrying my issues camouflaged in a frilly bible cover saying, "God bless you," to those I encounter on Sunday morning.

Why would I share real life with people? I don't want to be judged. And yet, with the assumption of being judged, I am the one doing the judging! See how circular this is? Satan can get me so stuck on the hamster wheel sometimes. The whole idea of being judged chains me up to live a guarded life. I am held captive by the worry of being judged by others and myself. 

 When I voice my fears, it makes me even more mad than I was before. I know Truth! I know what the Word of God says. I know that transparent, authentic relationships form the foundation for community. I know God intends for us to live in freedom, unshackled from worry, judgement, and shame.

We all just want to be loved. We want others to not look down on us and think us weak. We want to be honored and respected but comforted when needed. My circumstances don't change my identity. What I go through brings me closer to the Father.

This morning, I confessed playing church to God and hiding from my myself and my community. My heart is unashamed once again. I am FREE!

Morning Prayer

Thank you for your redemptive love that calls us back to your side. Thank you for wooing us, pursuing us, picking us up out of the pit. Your graceful mercy is wonderful. Your redemptive love is unfathomable. I am in awe of you. Your majesty, justice, and righteousness are true. We worship you above all else. We place you in the seat of honor in our lives. There is none like you. you are the mighty King, our High Priest, who is glorified in heaven and earth.

Thank you for loving us; for calling us into communion with you. Thank you for depositing the Spirit in us to guide us to your throne room. Thank you for your gentle patience that leads us home. May our lives reflect your character. May we be filled with your love, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. Amen

Save the ___________(fill in the blank)

When I was in middle school, I tried to save a bit of creation. The memory is a little fuzzy, but here's what I remember. My friend, Eleanor, and I began talking about animal rights. After a few conversations, we decided to make our fellow preteen colleagues aware of the plight of various animals. See we were disgusted with animal products in our makeup and hairspray (yes it was the late 80's and everyone used hairspray). We were even more disgusted with how the animals were treated before they were massacred for our vanity. We boycotted make-up and hairspray and eventually set up a table in the lunch room to raise awareness. I think we even raised a few bucks to donate to the cause.

This was my first taste of Genesis 2:15, "Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it." The Hebrew word for cultivate is "abad" (Strong's H5647) which means to serve and the Hebrew word for keep is "shamar" (Strong's H8104) which means to protect.

Not only did God create Man to rule over the animals of the earth (Genesis 1:26) but He set Man up as the caretaker. We are to be in authority over creation with a caring heart. We are to cultivate the land--serve  and protect it. This is the first assignment of servant leadership that God gives to Man.

Our servant leadership of the earth never is to become idol worship of the earth. Yes, I recycle, reuse, and re-purpose.  However, my choices aren't rooted in a cause anymore. My choices are rooted in the knowledge of my position as a human in God's creation. I choose to honor Him in how I take care of His creation. I know that eventually this earth will pass away- it is under the same curse of death that we are all under, but sometimes its more about the journey then it is the destination.

A splash of color and a pinch of control

My daughters share a room and the time has come to repaint.  With 3 very different opinions, the decision in wall color has taken longer than I expected. The girls finally united their artistic vision for the room and picked perfectly tasteful shades of lime green and turquoise. I, on the other hand, was not sold on the bold color pallet. So I did what any good controlling mother would do...I firmly suggested 2 shades of neutral colors and to use the bright colors as accents on the bedding.

After the conversation, I felt like the biggest pile of poop! Here these girls had picked perfectly fine colors for THEIR bedroom and I had gone and rerouted the whole project into what I wanted. Hopes were dashed and creativity was thrown out the window. Feeling a little selfish afterwards, I started talking to God about it. "Why do I want  THEIR room to be MY way? Why can't I give this to them, and let them decorate the way they want to?"

When the kids were small, I would pick out everything, their clothes, hairstyle, sippy cups, etc...But now, they are starting to put some tension on those good old apron strings and my reaction is to give a good pull and drag them back to my hip. Sadly, Control has felt at home here with me, to the point that it has left its dirty towels on the bathroom floor for me to pick up.

Anyway, I have decided to relent and go with them on their choice. Control is again feeling like an unwelcome guest and not a part of the family. I don't know when the room will actually get painted, but I am at peace with myself and my daughters. My kids have held the mirror of self-reflection up for me to see again. Each time, I just have to run to the Father and ask why I do what I do. I am eternally grateful that He loves me and has enough patience for me as I work out my issues with Him.

It feels like such a long journey sometimes...

Productivity

Today was supposed to be a productive day. I had every intention of crossing off at least 5 items on my to-do list. But, here I sit at a quarter to 5 with nothing crossed off. In fact, I thought of 3 things just in the last 10 minutes that I should add to my list!

Ever have days like this?  Ever have a life like this? When I was young and my intentions weren't ripe, but  a deep shade of green, I pictured my life looking very different than it is now. I thought I would live somewhere else, have more kids, and twirl on a mountain top singing ( in tune) at the top of my lungs something about the hills being alive with the sound of music.

I have realized as I have begun to ripen a little in wisdom that where I am is exactly where I am supposed to be. The milestones and trials that I have experienced have made me who I am today. I wouldn't give up what I have lived through. I wouldn't say that it was an unproductive life according to the to-do list. Rather, I have been blessed in the unexpected. I have come to count it all joy. I can say I am content in the daily rhythms that make up my life.

Even today, a non-productive day, according to the to-do list, has been just what it was supposed to be. A day full of time with my kids, a visit with my parents, and talking with the Lord about everything under the sun. Today was productive.

Are you right where you are supposed to be? Are you content where God has you? Can you look back and see where God has brought you and where He is taking you? Have you stopped to talk with Him today?

Everything Old is New Again

I think it was Fraulein Maria who first introduced me to the concept of re-purposing. I remember watching her creative glance, eyeing the curtains in her bedroom one night and the next day the Von Trapp children were wearing them as play clothes.


Since watching Sound of Music many moons ago, I have re-purposed many things including dish towels and aprons which have become curtains. A shower curtain has recently become a cushion for our glider, and just today, a twin bed sheet became our new shower curtain.

Recently, I found this super book online that is full of home making projects many of which are made from re-purposed materials. It’s titled, “Handmade Home: simple ways to repurpose old materials into new family treasures” by Amanda Blake Soule.

I can’t wait to head to the library and get my hands on this book! I can’t wait to peek through the pages and get some great ideas to further the life of many things laying around my house screaming out for new life. I’ll let you know what I find!

That Too?

The longer I go along on this journey through life back Home to my Father, I realize it is full of sacrifice. Some things are easier to sacrifice than others. Everything, eventually, gets handed over to the One who saved me. It is no longer I that live, but Christ in me. In order for me to no longer live for myself, everything must be handed over when He asks for it. 2 Corinthians 5:15 says, "and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf."

So, I die and hand over my lifestyle, hopes, dreams,etc...I am not living for myself anymore. Rather, I am living for Him. What gets replaced is this new life--new creation where God places in me His lifestyle, hopes, dreams, etc...which of course is perfect and pleasing to the Lord. Only with His hopes and dreams am I really at peace. True contented peace cannot be found apart from the One who grants it. It is a fruit of the Spirit after all.

Well, I have had this part of me that I haven't wanted to give over yet...Yes, He has asked me for it numerous times. I try to hand it over with my own strength and it seems to fall on the ground and roll back to me. So, I scoop it up and continue in life until He asks for it again. Really, I have needed to ask the Spirit to help me carry it to the altar where I can properly give it to God. I am too weak but He is strong.

This is the summer to fall under complete submission and hand over my love of food and my distain for exercise. I do want to loose weight, don't get me wrong, but there is a greater want inside me. I want to give Him all of me. Even the rebellious part that wants to eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it. So, I have asked the Spirit to lift my arms up and give me the strength to hand this rebellious desire over to God and put it on the altar once and for all. This require that I be vulnerable with all of me. In some bizarre human way, I feel covered up even though I know I am exposed before the Lord always. By saying, "okay, you can have this too" I feel pretty darn naked.

Are you like me? Do you have something that you have been withholding from giving over to God? Is there something that you just want to keep for yourself and not share with Him? Do you have some leaves hiding your heart from the Father? Friends, ask the Spirit to give you His strength and comfort to pass it over to the altar. I shall be praying for you during this season of letting go, just as I know you are praying for me.

Inhale...Exhale

Inhale. This is it, I decided not to give a two week notice. Instead, I  opted to turn around and walk away this morning. Yes,  I have gotten out of the driver seat and taken my hands off the wheel. I have opted to sit back and watch God work. To ride the train not drive it! No more striving, no more impatience, no more worry or anxiety. I'm done. It is finished. I QUIT!

Exhale. I will start each new day, fresh in His embrace. I will ask what He would have me to do with each day I am given. No more assumptions on what I should be doing, no more strategies on how my life should play out.

Life is a huge field to run through and I intend to run fast and hard to my Savior--the One who calls me His own. I don't know what that looks like, I don't know my place in the bigger picture AND I don't care. That isn't for me to be worried about TODAY. Today, I run after Him through the beautiful lush green field full of wild daisies and fragrant lilacs. It is a most beautiful journey Home!

My Kindle Science Experiment

An interesting development has occurred with one of my children who is diagnosed with visual perception disorder. (Basically, he has dyslexic tendencies and it takes longer for his brain to process information that comes in through his eyes.) This interesting development has come in the form of our Kindle.

Recently, I was having a talk with my son about what he sees when he reads. It always surprises him when I tell him that words don't move around on the pages that I am reading, and it always surprises me that they do for him. Anyway, I asked him to read a bit on my kindle.  He looked up from the device and said, "So this is what it looks like for you, huh?"

The words stayed in place! Nothing shifted! So, I asked him if the words stayed in place on the computer screen. He said the computer is better than books, magazines, etc... but there is still some slight movement. The kindle kept every single word still! No movement at all! We now use the Kindle daily in his schooling.

Here's a few questions I would like to ask which could proof or disproof my theory that e-readers are beneficial to dyslexics.

1. If you have dyslexic tendencies, is reading on the computer screen better for you than books, magazines, etc...?

2. If you have or know someone with dyslexic tendencies, have they tried reading from an e-reader and what was the result?

3. If reading from an e-reader meant no more dyslexia would you invest in one for your children?

4. If e-readers are proven therapy for various dyslexic tendencies would you want to see a literacy charity of some sort working with the schools and/or communities to get e-readers donated to kids who would benefit from them?

Note: I just have to say that I love my kindle! I looked at the Nook the last time I was in a Barnes & Noble and came away liking my Kindle better. Nook does have more bells and whistles on it but I'm good with my kindle. The kindle is a little lighter and the average book costs less with it than with the Nook.I also have looked at the SONY e-reader and wasn't impressed with the selection or the fact that it had to be connected to my computer to download books onto it.