A Good and Perfect Gift

In November of this year, a friend and I were having coffee and she related to me a fantastic symbol for the Holy Spirit. She described how we have been pledged to Jesus and are His bride; however, the marriage isn't until Revelation. In the meantime, Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to be our seal and live in us. He is our "engagement ring". This comparison of the Holy Spirit with an engagement ring spoke to my heart.

After she left, I thanked God for sending the Holy Spirit to me to be my "engagement ring". I began praying for a physical ring to wear on my right hand to remind me of the Holy Spirit in me. I began to pray for a blue sapphire ring which would remind me of my heavenly home. One of my journal entries from the beginning of December reads, "Lord, please provide a blue sapphire ring to remind me that your Holy Spirit is dwelling in me. He is my seal. He is my 'engagement ring' He is the promise of You in me. I wait for your provision."

So during the Christmas season, I looked around at sapphire rings and prayed that God would provide for me to purchase one. On Christmas Eve, we went to my mother's house and ate a wonderful meal and opened gifts. All the while I was still praying for a sapphire ring with each rip of wrapping paper. The last gift was given to me to open and what did I find inside but a blue sapphire ring! Along with this beautiful ring was a beautiful letter from my mother explaining why she chose to give me a sapphire ring.

 The Lord is good. He heard my prayers for a ring to remind me of Him and gave a good and perfect ring to me--all the more sweet by the lovely letter from my mom.

Not only is this ring a symbol of the Holy Spirit living in me but it has also become a symbol of prayer. God hears our prayers and gives us gentle kisses (such as my sapphire ring) to remind us that He is living and does hear our prayers. 

Meditative Ponderings

God and I have been talking over the topic of prosperity--specifically financial blessings. I know that we can be prosperous in many different areas including the tangible and the intangible. However, my talks with God have seemed to be about  money in the Church lately. Here's a series of questions that have been lobbed back and forth in my quiet time:

Me: Why do we (the Church--Body of Christ in U.S.) pray for prosperity?

Me: Why do we assume You will bless us financially?

Still Small Voice: Why do you expect your own storehouse to be continually full? My storehouse is always
                           full and it is for the greater Body not just one part or one person.

Still Small Voice: When I bless you with finances will you give them to the parts of the Body that need it or
                          will you keep it for yourself?

Still Small Voice: Do you love Me or the good gifts I give?

Still Small Voice: If you don't have money, does that mean you aren't loved by Me?

Me: Why do we feel we have a "right" to money?

Me: How much of this "right" comes from the culture we live in and not from where we hold our citizenship?

Still Small Voice: Why do you make a claim of entitlement on something that is a gift from me
                           to you? There is no need to demand a gift. It is given when I give it--be content and have
                           patience. Remember the lilies of the valley and the birds of the air. Rest in Me, I will
                           provide.

Spiritual Direction

Our dreams for our lives don't matter in comparison to what His dream is for us. That is where we find contentment. In His plan for our life is where we find our purpose and joy. "For I know the plans I have for you..."(Jeremiah 29:11) He has created you with certain strengths, certain weaknesses. He has placed a plan in your heart. Once you cut through all the flesh (desires of Self) you will see what His plan is for you. The more you pray for Him to lead your life the more you will gravitate towards what He has purposed for you--His will (plan) for your life.

Sit with Him today. Ask Him to show you the plan He has for you. What direction does He want you to go? Then be silent. Wait on the Lord. He may not answer right away. This may be an ongoing question you ask. Make sure to allow space to in you prayer life to sit quietly before the Throne giving God time to respond. You will begin to hear Him speak to you.

Here's a little peek into what I have been dialoguing with God about for awhile now. We have been discussing the concept of Spiritual Direction also called Spiritual Formation. I was first introduced to Spiritual Direction  through a book entitled, Spiritual Formation: Following the Movements of the Spirit by noted author, speaker, teacher, Henri Nouwen. I remember the day I met this book like it was yesterday. I was at the public library scanning the books on the shelf in the Christian non-fiction section when this one jumped off the shelf and into my hands! Noooo...that's not what happened. Books can't jump. Silly me!

Seriously, I saw the title and thought, like any conservative evangelical Christian, "What is Spiritual Formation?" and "Is this New Age?" My curiosity got the best of me and I started flipping through it which led to a voracious read through the first chapter while standing in that row of books. I couldn't put it down. Here someone was putting to paper what I had been longing for. I checked it out and read it a couple times in the 2 weeks we had together.

At that time, my ears became sensitive to those 2 little words and the Holy Spirit began teaching me about Spiritual Direction. I learned that this practice is common in Catholic, Mennonite, Methodist, Lutheran, and Presbyterian circles. However, it is just now inching its way into Evangelical Christianity. Although it is practiced outside of Christianity by several other religions it isn't New Age when fixed on the Author and Perfecter of our Faith and led by the Holy Spirit. Like anything else in the world, what God has created, the enemy has the ability to twist and warp it in such a way that the focus is taken off of Jesus Christ and onto Self.

For the last couple years, I have been praying, pleading, begging God for the opportunity to be trained as a Spiritual Director. I still have never experienced spiritual direction but I want to so badly! I have looked into a few programs for certification as well as a few master's degree options and just haven't sensed God releasing me to pursue it yet. So, I keep praying.

Memory Lane

We all are hardwired with memory both short and long term. The short term memory is great for jotting down information from one page to another or for any other short-lived situation. The long term memory has the ability to remember simple things from the multiplication table you learned in third grade to more weighty complex issues of the heart that happened years ago.

It’s because of our long term memory that our childhood often comes back into play whenever we smell a certain scent or hear a certain phrase being said. I relish the memories of playing dolls on the porch or roller skating in the garage. These are sweet times of childhood where I felt free to be me. I felt joy. I felt peace. Then there are the not-so-fun memories: the times when joy and peace were absent. The times when I felt alone and unloved—abandoned.

God created us with this storehouse of long term memory. He is well aware that we carry our past with us in our present and our future. Furthermore, He instructs us in His word where to rest our memories.

The word “remember” occurs 168 times in the scriptures. So what does God want us to remember—only the good ‘ole days? Surely, He doesn’t want us to remember the difficult times, the times of suffering? It must be important to Him for it to be said often. Let’s look at one together.

Deuteronomy 15:15 says, “You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt and the Lord your God redeemed you…”

Hum. This would indicate that we will remember the negative circumstances in our past BUT…there is a wonderful second part to this…we are to remember how the Lord worked. In the case of the Israelites, they were to remember how God redeemed them from slavery.

The negative is slavery. The positive is God’s redemption.

I want to encourage you when faced with hard memories that evoke hard emotions to stop and pray. Tell God about your hurt. Share with Him this memory. Then ask Him to heal it and replace it with His love. Ask Him to take the hurt out. Ask Him where you need to grant forgiveness and/or you may need to ask someone to forgive you.

Ask Him where He was during that time. Quiet your heart and listen to His still small voice. He is gentle. He is love. He is speaking. Ask Him to redeem that circumstance—that emotion. It may take a bit but eventually when your mind triggers that negative long term memory you will be left with God’s story of redemption.

There are volumes more that can be discussed when it comes to memory and what God wants us to remember and what He remembers. Yes, He is a God who remembers.

If you have a few minutes look up the word “remember” in your concordance or in blueletterbible.org and spend some time reading what the scriptures say about memory.

Extravagant Love

Yesterday, we were out of town for a soccer tourney. In between games, we headed to the mall. I took one of my daughters into the Disney store. After looking around for a few minutes, I asked the sales woman if they had any Snow White PJ's. (My daughter's birthday is in a couple days and she is in the need for PJ's--perfect combo!) Well the sales woman agrees with me and my daughter that Snow White doesn't have enough representation in the store; HOWEVER, there is a new Snow White night gown that will be on the shelves the middle of June.

She offered to take down our name and number and call us when it was available for sale. I told her that we didn't live in that town, but we would for sure be looking for it at our store. I then asked my daughter if she wanted that nightgown to be a late birthday present. After hearing me ask her this question, the sales woman asked us to follow her to the back of the store and wait for her at the door. We did. She came back with the night gown and said she didn't know if they would have these at other stores or not.

She called her boss back and asked if they could sell it to us anyway since my daughter's birthday is this next week and all. The store manager agreed and all 4 of us walked to the register super excited. When we got to the register, the store manager made a birthday button for my daughter and gave her a cardboard birthday crown. After the evening shower, the nightgown went on and the squeals commenced until bedtime. She was so happy, she was almost crying.

You know what? My daughter had been extravagantly loved by the Father. God knows my daughter's heart. He knows how much she adores Snow White. He knows what will touch her heart more than anything else. Here was a treasure she wasn't even seeking. Something so wonderful and she didn't even know it existed.

We have all been given an extravagant treasure. He is called Jesus. God knew what would touch our hearts more than anything else. Jesus is our treasure we weren't even seeking. Someone wonderful and we didn't even know about Him when He was given to us. What a wonderful God to love us extravagantly by giving us His son.

Thank you Father. Your love is extravagant. Thank you for Your Son. Thank you for blessing us.

Motherhood

Lately, I have been thinking about Motherhood. Yes, I have had the joy of parenting 3 children. However, I am starting to gather that mothering can be different than parenting. I can only parent my 3 children, but I can mother many, many more. 

In Titus 2, Paul tells the older women to teach the younger women. I have been blessed by older women around me who have richly taught me what it means to be a woman after God's own heart. I have gleaned knowledge and gained wisdom from having them in my life. Likewise, I have watched my elementary age daughter teach younger girls about sharing and showing others respect.

All of a sudden, this Titus 2 passage, pertains to all of us, not just what we would picture an "older woman" to look like. We are all older than someone else. All of us are in the position to reach out to the younger woman in our community.

Maybe you will reach out to someone chronologically younger than yourself, or maybe God will direct you to reach out to a woman who is younger in the faith than you. Oh ladies, what a privilege it is to encourage and train those around us in the ways of the Lord--to impart the knowledge and wisdom we have gained along the way and to let the Holy Spirit deposit in them what He has deposited in us.

Spend this Mother's Day weekend thanking God for the women in your life that have mothered you. Pray for those who he has asked you to mother. If you are unclear who that is--pray and ask the Lord to show you someone that you could come along side and love unconditionally. Someone that you can share your life's journey.

Fast

We live with one foot in heaven and one foot on earth. We are eternal heavenly beings that happen to be wrapped in temporal earthly bodies. Fasting magnifies the difference between our souls and our flesh. We come face to face with the intense cravings our bodies have for the physical; as well as, the intense love the Saviour has for us.

During a fast our spiritual ears are turned towards heaven and the Holy Spirit's voice is clear. We have more awareness of our prayer-life. Likewise, we are in a state of denial to our bodies and the screams of desire are just as clear. The beauty of this juxtaposition is that we can discern between the two more clearly. There isn't an overlapping--a mistaking carnality for God's voice or God's voice for carnality.

What do I mean by that? Well, sometimes, we may desire something so strong in our flesh that we start believing it is what God wants for us. Then we are devastated when God doesn't move in that direction in our lives. A few years ago, I went through this very thing. I had wanted to be an attorney. It was such a drive for me and I truly believed it was what God wanted for me as well. It wasn't. I was getting ready to apply to law schools when the Lord stopped me. It was what my flesh wanted so badly that I thought for sure God wanted it for me. I thought this was my destiny. Not now it isn't. He may grant me that desire down the road, but for now--it isn't where I am to be.

Fasting is a small way to demonstrate to the Father that you are listening and you crave His words for you and His direction for your life above all the desires of this world. I want to know God intimately, so badly that I will give up anything--even food--to know Him more.

Have you ever contemplated this spiritual discipline? Prayed about it? That's exactly where you start. Fasting, or any spiritual discipline for that matter, isn't legalistic. It isn't something we do because we "should" or to look more "holy". God looks at our hearts--our motivations. Spiritual disciplines are motivated by our desire to know God deeper. They aren't motivated by any outer influence.

Spiritual disciplines are done in prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to guide us, teach us, and strengthen us. The Holy Spirit gives us the strength to go without solid food for a season. He is all wise and knows whether our bodies are ready for such an undertaking.

Take it to the Lord in prayer and He will show you when you can fast, what you shall abstain from during your fast, and when the fast is completed. Again, spiritual disciplines are Holy Spirit lead. It is a rich time of fellowship with the Holy Spirit.

 May you continue to grow in God's grace and love for you as you explore more of the spiritual disciplines.

Spring is in the Air and Love is Everywhere

I just love spring! It is my favorite season and it holds my favorite holiday, Easter.

I don’t love Easter because of the fluffy bunny that breaks into homes in the
middle of the night and hops into living rooms with baskets of goodies for
children everywhere. I don’t love Easter for the big family dinner full of good food
and laughter. Rather, I love Easter because of the selfless act of Grace that was
done that day on our behalf.

On that day, God transformed the world through His love. His crucifixion not only
forgives our trespasses, but it also beckons us to come into His presence and live
in communion with Him for eternity. This invitation can only be given because the
power of sin has been rendered powerless. No longer are we slaves of the enemy.
We have been given a new identity. We are now co-heirs with Christ,
daughters of the King.

Furthermore, His grace allows us to enter into relationship with Him
right here, right now. We don’t have to wait until this shell of a body
passes away. The Holy Spirit is guiding us and teaching us. He is
transforming us—changing us into the image of the Father.

2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “But we all, with unveiled face,
beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed
into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the
Spirit.”

New Assignment

For 4 years of my life I planned and organized a christian women's conference in NW Indiana called "Tie Us Together". We had 3 wonderful conferences where people of many denominational backgrounds had their faith strengthened.  I never doubted what I was asked to do; however, I did doubt my ability to do the assignment.

After seeing the faithfulness of God for the first couple conferences, I didn't even doubt the Lord's ability to pull all the pieces together and financially provide. I was content in my inability because I knew He was able. I could have organized conferences for the rest of my life with complete contentment.

Our last conference in 2009 didn't turn out like the other two. The actual conference was fantastic! Jan Silvious brought the Word and Jennie Wellsand took us to the throne room in worship. But the finances didn't come through like they had in the past.

 I struggled for months and months as to why God didn't pay His bills immediently. My faith was shaken down to the core. I felt abandoned by the Most High. It was all I could do to hold myself together and not doubt in the existance of God.

I kinda felt like John the Baptist sitting in jail. Remember in Matthew 11, when John sent his disciples to Jesus asking, "Are you the Expected One, or shall we look for someone else?" Yeah,I felt like that. Here I had seen the Hand of the Lord working, I had lived in intimacy with the Savior, but with this one upset--I was severly doubting Him. I just wanted to make sure that He is who He says He is--and that His word is true.

Finally, after  months of silence, that Still Small Voice spoke loud and clear. He was changing my assignment. No longer would I organize women's conferences. He was giving me a new assignment. Had the last conference turned out like the first two, I may not have given up the assignment. I may have continued to organize conferences. He needed to slow me down--to stop me, so I would listen to Him.

 For the last year and a half, I have been listening to His voice leading me. He has put this blog together and named it "Homesick". He has asked me to be a communicator to His people with my writing and speaking. When called upon by the Body, I faithfully speak. When called upon by the Spirit, I faithfully write. Daily, I stand amazed that He chooses to use this weak vessel.

My assignment may never grow beyond this blog and a couple speaking engagements. I'm content with that.  The joy doesn't come in the largeness of what we are called to do. The joy comes in the obedience to the One who calls. Listen to His voice calling you and obey the assignment put in front of you. He is faithful.

Running Home

There is a nasty sin that just wouldn't go away in my life. It was consuming my thought life and I was miserable. I had tried everything I knew--gone to support meetings, asked for prayer, changed my habits. Inevitably this thing would cycle back around and I would again try to control it unsuccessfully.

Until the day my husband said, "What if you just didn't think about it anymore?"

Seriously? Did he just say that? My mind began the rebuttal, "Really? You think it is that simple? Like THAT is going to work!"

After some time chewing on what he said, I realized it is that simple. Paul says in Philippians 4:8, "Finally brethren [and sisteren ;)] whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."

The "whatever" Paul is talking about must be heavenly. This world isn't true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, etc... So, how does that practically look in daily life? Well for me, when this sin cycles back around, I run Home. I run to the Holy of Holies and sit at my Father's feet in worship. I fill my home with worship music and I set my mind on the things above.

By posturing myself this way, it takes me out of the fight. Now the battle is between this sin and my Protector. He will cover me. He will guard me. He will let me continue in sabbath rest while He gets rid of this sin.

Now, I no longer bow to this sin in my life. I don't try to fight my flesh in my flesh. I don't do it anymore on my own. I now allow God to stand in the gap. Romans 6:17-18 says, "But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed, and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness."

The more I run to the Father's arms and ask Him to fight for me, the less the temptation is to fall back into that sin pattern.

What is it that you are struggling with? What sin keeps cycling back into your life that you just can't shake on your own? Run to the Father. Run Home to the Holy of Holies. Set your mind on the things of Heaven and the stuff of earth with fade away.  He is big. He is strong. He will take care of this pest for you.

Freewill

He walked in the front door and in frustration threw his book bag on the floor and shouted, "When am I going to be allowed to cuss?" I immediately stopped loading the dishwasher and offered up a feable prayer. Something like, "God help me."

"All the kids at school cuss. When am I going to be allowed to cuss?" Gingerly, I started asking him questions about his day and figured out what he was so upset about and why he wanted to cuss. Once he was calmed down, he asked again, "When am I going to be allowed to cuss?" 

I told my first born, rule following, child that he was allowed to cuss--just not in my home or around me, his father, or his sisters. The funny look on his face mirrored the funny feeling my heart felt saying those words. I had him say a couple cuss words and talked about how he felt saying those words. I told him my experience in middle school and how those words hurt me and my friends. I ended our time telling him that he could take a couple days to think and pray about whether or not he wanted to start cussing.

A couple days later, he came home from school and said, "I know what I want to do." He told me that he wasn't going to cuss. He had thought about it and even prayed about it and had decided not to cuss. My heart let out a huge sigh of relief.

I knew I couldn't keep him under my thumb and if I didn't give him freedom in making this [relatively] small decision about his life, he may not come to me when the decisions are a lot bigger and more complicated. So, I reliquished parental control and gave him the most scary gift a parent can give their child: freewill.

Again, God brought to my attention that my children are His first then mine. I am gifted with the responsibility to steward their upbringing for the kingdom. Ultimately, God is their protector and He will provide what is needed. When I let go and allowed the Lord to work on my son's heart, I received the opportunity to see God at work in his life.

This is how the Father is with us. Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. We ask for permission for things that aren't beneficial often. His Holy Spirit guides and convicts us in the way we should go. Ultimately, it is up to us to make the decision to follow His ways or our ways. Which way will you choose?

Rest

A year or so ago I began a study in the book of Hebrews. During the study, the Spirit took me on a journey into the depths of Christ I had not known. It was more than a touch. It was more than being swaddled by His love while in prayer or worship. It was a depth in understanding and a progression in wisdom that cannot be compared to an experience or feeling. My hunger for His word grew to craving proportions.

One of the concepts brought out during that study was Sabbath Rest. This idea that we can live in rest. No more striving or working for the kingdom of God. Instead, I have let go, opened up my heart to let God work through me. I no longer am taking the lead but have allowed Him to lead me completely. By resting in His ability to guide me, I am sitting in a home that I never expected to live in, I am filling my days with activities that I never thought I would do, and I love people with a love that is not my own.

More of Him and less of me. What a magnificant love that can consume me and create in me a heart longing for the Father's presence. My goals, my dreams, my desires for my life have been left at the cross and I now carry His goals, His dreams, His desires for me.

Where are you at today? Are you locked in a tired effort to bring about results in your spiritual life? Posture yourself in such a way that you can give your efforts to Him and you will begin to see the sweetness of His Sabbath Rest.

Discernment

Oh Friends, I have to tell you what I saw on TV the other day. I had to blink a few times to make sure it was for real.  Ok, I saw a homeshow on a PBS channel. You know the shows that have various homemaking segments such as decorating, cooking, etc...Well, this show was all about preparing for a dinner party with limited preperation time. So, the segment I caught was "cleaning up" for the party.

The host talked about how to throw dirty dishes in a big bowl or pan and put them in the oven or cabinet. Then she talked about  spraying some sort of house cleaner right in front of the front door so when the guests arrive they get a whiff of cleaner and they will have the perception that the house is clean even though it isn't. She ended the segment by saying "perception is truth".

To which I say, "No."  The truth is: your house is dirty, there are even dirty dishes hiding in your oven. The lie is: the house is clean--see your nose even thinks so.

Our senses will lie to us. They will perceive that the house is clean when it really isn't. They will see things and smell things that aren't truths. This is why the Bible is vital to our spiritual growth. Without the foundation of the Word of God, our senses and/or our emotions can lead us into a dirty home when we think that it is clean. We will be tricked.

Friends, know the Truth. Know the still small voice of the Spirit. Sit with Him and listen to Him speaking. Then, when you go into someone's house (i.e. read a book, hear a teaching, etc...) you will be able to distinguish if the house is clean or dirty.

Cain and the Elder Brother

I've read the account of Cain and Abel found in Genesis 4 dozens of times. Every time, I come to the same conclusion: Why didn't God accept Cain's offering? He was after all the "tiller of the ground". He wasn't the one with the animals just the barley. He offered up his offering before his brother. How could he have known that God only accepted a blood sacrifice?

Hebrews 11 says that Abel had faith. Where does that leave Cain? If Cain didn't have any faith, why would he give a sacrifice in the first place? Surely, he had the same conviction in his heart to sacrifice that Abel did.

This morning I was reading this account again and asking the Lord these questions again. This time, the Spirit gently moved me from Cain and Abel to the parable of the man with two sons often referred to the Parable of the Prodigal Son found in Luke 15. Reading the section about the elder son in correlation to Cain who was an elder son brought new light into the rejection of Cain's sacrifice.

See Cain and the elder son did what was supposed to be done. Their actions showed a loyal heart dedicated to the Lord, but their hearts were full of pride beating selfish thoughts which eventually manifested in anger. The elder brother upon hearing that his younger brother had been loved unconditionally said to their father, "Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me..." You get the picture.

The elder brother's service to his father was very self righteous. Essentially, he said, "Look at all I have done for you and yet you don't reward my good behavior." This sounds pretty similar to what Cain was feeling. He offers a sacrifice and yet it isn't accepted. All this good behavior and it goes unappreciated.

Cain's prideful heart cannot master the sin that is crouching, desiring to overtake him which eventually will lead to death. God warns Cain of the condition of his heart and yet Cain cannot humble himself. His heart is far from the Father--even with good works--he is far from the Father. Soon Cain is overtaken by his lustful desire and he kills his brother.

Cain separated himself from God and wouldn't allow the Lord to teach him because he had hardened his heart with his own evil desires. We must remain soft and pliable by the Master potter. We must be humble to allow Him to teach us. Likewise, the elder brother was separated from his father by his prideful heart. He wouldn't bend to the will of the father but rather was focused on himself unable to mature in his father's ways.



Seeing Cain and the elder brother together like this brings me to my knees. Oh Lord, examine my heart. Root out any pride that you find there. May I decrease so that You may increase. I want to love what you love and who you love. May my actions only be an outgrowth of my intimate walk with you. I don't want hollow behaviors.

Considering It Pure Joy

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything." (James 1:2-3)

Our natural tendency is to apply scriptures like the James verses mentioned above to ourselves--to our own  life.  But I want to take this verse one step further beyond us. Can you see this verse applied to your spouse's life, your parent's life, or what about even your children's lives? We don't seem to think of our children's trials as beneficial to their spiritual lives. Instead we try to intervene, we try to make things easier for them.

This world is fallen. Not only did man spiritually die the day Adam and Eve rebelliously ate what wasn't theirs to eat, but the earth and all its inhabitants suffered as well. Consequently, there is sickness, there is sin, there is death for us as well as our children.

We have a child who has some ailments. A year and a half ago, I spent a great deal of time crying, begging God to heal her. I felt helpless. My hands were tied and I couldn't save her. I couldn't spare her from what she was going through. "Why?" came to my mind frequently.

The Lord listened to the cries of this mother's heart. I felt His strong arms carrying me through those deep waters. I knew His strong arms were carrying her as well. One thing He spoke to my heart was that she was His daughter first and foremost. I was her earthly mother. I was chosen to raise her up. I was chosen to teach her His ways, His precepts, His love. At the end of my time with her, God would be with her. He is with her always.

God will guide her through the trials. Even her trials are considered pure joy. He is maturing her. How dare I try to intervene in her maturing process. How dare I try to take away her testimony of God's faithfulness in her life. How dare I try to take away a stone of remembrance.

In the book of Joshua there is an account of the Priests carrying 12 stones from the Jordan River. Each stone symbolized one of the tribes of Israel. Joshua had the Priests lay the stones down together. He then gave the orders that when their children asked what these stones were, the people would tell the story of God's faithfulness as they traveled across the Jordan River on dry ground just as they had crossed the Red Sea on dry ground.

Joshua concludes his speech in chapter 4 by saying, "that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, so that you may fear the Lord your God forever."

As we travel through this life, all of us--even our children--we are given stones in the form of trials. As the time comes to set those stones down, we can say that we have seen the mighty hand of the Savior. Then we can look back over those stones in years to come and know that the Lord has been faithful.

This last year and a half has been peaceful. Of course, there have been times of frustration. I have still asked "why" from time to time. Regardless of my emotions, I know that God is protecting and providing for my child. I can step back in confidence and know that her journey is sweet and the Father is walking with her every step of the way. One day, she will look back at this season and see God's faithfulness.

Go in peace today, knowing that He has you. He has your children and your spouse and your parents. Regardless of the outcome, God will be glorified. He will be remembered as a faithful God. Healing always comes. It may not look how we think it should, but healing always comes.

Umbrella

As a couple, my husband and I have sought out other couples that we love and respect who are a further on the journey than us to "mentor" us. Currently, the Lord has directed us to this wonderful couple rich in wisdom.

This last week we were all sitting in our living room talking about heavenly things when the topic of marriage came up. The wife shared the most profound word picture of submission that I have ever heard. She said, "I am safe when I am standing under my husband's umbrella."

Imagine if you will a raging thunderstorm complete with sharp lightening and cracks of thunder. You, dear married friends, are safe from the storm when you are standing under your husband's umbrella. He will keep you dry, protect you, and care for you. What a picture of love.

Seeing submission in this light, as a wife being cherished by her husband and she respectfully choosing to stay under his leadership by submitting to him, is the perfect picture of Christ and the Church. He is the protector and provider of the Church. She is safe when she stands under the cross. He will keep us safe from the accusitive arrows that the enemy hurls at us much like bolts of lightening.

Have you wandered outside of Christ's leadership? His umbrella is huge and there is always room for you to choose to submit to His will for your life. Come back to the safety and love of Christ. He will keep you safe from the enemy's arrows. The storm rages on, but you will find peace and contentment standing under Him.

Going Home

There will come a day when my body will stop. My heart will stop pumping, my lungs will stop breathing, and my mind will stop thinking. When that day comes, I will not care what legacy I have left for those still living. I will not care about heritage, or posterity, or ephitaphs.

 My soul will delight in the presence of the Almighty God and Creator of the Universe. My single focus will be His face. My only desire will be to worship Him. For Him alone do I walk this life, daily groaning with all nature for the return of the Everlasting.

May we live in the eternal reality that we are His. We belong to Him alone--not to this world. May our lives be grounded on the Word of God and surrounded by the presence of the Holy Spirit. May we wake early to be with our Love and fall asleep to the sweet lullaby of His song over us. Allow His grace to sweep over you. Turn your ear to heaven to wait on Him. He is worthy. Amen.

Manipulating Promises

"That's not what I thought it would look like." This is typically my response to anything I draw. My imagination has a beautiful sketch in mind and what my hand draws can be best described as chicken scratch. I must have a disconnect between my brain and hand. Either way, the end result is pen to paper, but the design is drastically different.

Sometimes I know there must be a disconnect between me and God. See, I think I know how something should happen or when it should take place. However, God will get to the same result but by a much better route.  The journey will be drastically different depending on who is steering the course. I have learned that it is much better to let God lead the way than to have me lead the way.

Take for instance, Sarah. God gave a promise of a son to her and her husband, Abraham. Well, she decided God's plan was taking too long so she resorted to Plan B--her plan. The end result was the same--God gave Abraham and Sarah a son, Isaac, but the journey was drastically different.

Have you ever stopped to think what would have happened if Sarah hadn't manipulated the promise and waited on God to bless her and Abraham? Life would have been much simpler. She wouldn't of had to worry about "another woman",  she wouldn't have had to worry about another child in the mix. nor would she have had such a contentious relationship with Abraham.

Sarah's story is in scripture for a reason. She shows us that waiting on God is difficult. It isn't easy to long for something so badly that has been promised to you. Some of us having been waiting for a child like Sarah, while others of us have been waiting for a spouse or for a circumstance to turn around. Regardless of what we have been waiting for--waiting is tough!  However, we must wait. If we choose to step ahead of God or His perfect timing, there are very real and difficult consequences.

Moreover, Sarah's story isn't unique. She isn't the first or the last person to try to plan out how God is going to work. Her picture of what that promise would look like fulfilled verses how God fulfilled that promise were two very different pictures.

She used her human logical brain to solve the problem of a barren woman and her husband being promised a son. God didn't need for her to use that logical human brain because the glory was all His and not her intellect. See, sometimes God takes us to the end of our resources so when a promise that He gives is fulfilled, we will know that it was Him that worked the miracle and not us.

Sarah shows us that waiting on God, although it is excruciating at times, is more fruitful and peaceful than trying to make something happen outside of God's perfect timing.

The next time you want to rush ahead of God and get to the good stuff right away--stop and think what could be learned in the waiting and how much easier life will be if you wait. He knows the best route to get you to the destination. Trust in His leading and He will grant you patience.

Reflection Questions 

If you are in waiting, what lessons is God teaching you? What aspects of His character is He showing you in this season?

Has God fulfilled any promises in your life? Can you look back at those seasons and see His hand working contrary to how you thought it should work? Did it look different than how you thought it would look?

Remembering When

This morning I was thinking back to when I had little kids. Now, I have kids but they wouldn't be happy with the use of the adjective "little".  Honestly, those where tough years for me emotionally. I used quite a bit of help from Elisabeth Elliot and the Ezzo's of Babywise fame to get this frazzled mother to the elementary school age.

Elisabeth Elliot wrote many wonderful books including Passion and Purity, Let Me be a Woman, and Discipline: The Glad Surrender. However it was her book, "The Shaping of a Christian Family" that gave me some tools for shaping my little ones. In her book, she talks about having the Bible open on the kitchen counter. This way when the children come to you with a problem (most likely you will be in the kitchen), the Bible is easily accessible for you to thumb through and teach a principle pertaining to the circumstance. I had mine open to Proverbs--it is chalk full of life's wisdom that will be helpful for toddlers...and adults.

Here's one of my favorite memories putting this concept to practice. One day, my 2 and 4 year old came to me while I was in the (you guessed it) kitchen making lunch. They were very upset with each other and requested my assistance in settling a disagreement.

My 4 year old wanted to play cops and robbers and my 2 year old wanted to play house. They were at an impasse. So, we walked over to the counter and I read them a Proverb that pertained to the argument and I brought up the idea of compromise. They walked out of the kitchen a happy family of bank robbers.

The Babywise books really helped me get the kids on a schedule when they were first born. It also gave me some concrete ideas on how to teach my children to put others above themselves. A small example of this would have be the lawn. Lawns and landscaping are not to be walked in unless permission has been granted from the homeowner. This is a small way we can show our neighbors that we see all the hard work they have put into their landscaping.

The Ezzo's also taught on siblings being best friends with each other. Friends come and go throughout the years, but siblings are a constant. They suggested that parents enforce and reinforce the notion that siblings are best friends by asking them who their best friend is, then responding with affirmation when they chose their sibling or with correction--naming the siblings as that child's best friend(s). My husband and I did this practice between ourselves when we had babies. I am so glad to say that my husband is my best-friend!

I have taken the advice of some other voices like Foster Cline and Jim Fay who wrote a wonderful series of   Love and Logic books including Parenting with Love and Logic and Teaching with Love and Logic. No matter what books on child rearing you read, know that your child isn't a chapter in a book or an "if-then" statement. You may need to take the advice from the experts and change it up to meet your needs. And above all, make sure the Bible is your primary source of child rearing. Put it on your counter and just let it be a presence in your home.

Pitter Patter & Clitter Clatter

My house is void of any sounds of humanity right now. All I can hear is the wind blowing cold air outside the house and the furnace quietly blowing warm air inside.  The stillness is quietly beautiful.

Ahhh, I love my children and I love my husband. I love having them all with me. I love hearing the pitter patter of the kids traipsing up and down the stairs. I love hearing the clitter and clatter of my husband as he works on a project or rummages through a box looking for something. There is still peace in the commotion. But there is a sweetness to the silence as well.

These moments of silent stillness,these kisses of solitude, serenade me into the presence of the King of Kings. My soul remains fixed on the throne room and my body delights in the Holy Spirit's swaddling. He speaks loudly and lovely in the silence.

Sit in the silence and wait. Wait for the Lord to bring His soft silent lullaby. Wait for Him to swaddle you in His love. "He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with song," (Zeph.3:17).