My daughters share a room and the time has come to repaint. With 3 very different opinions, the decision in wall color has taken longer than I expected. The girls finally united their artistic vision for the room and picked perfectly tasteful shades of lime green and turquoise. I, on the other hand, was not sold on the bold color pallet. So I did what any good controlling mother would do...I firmly suggested 2 shades of neutral colors and to use the bright colors as accents on the bedding.
After the conversation, I felt like the biggest pile of poop! Here these girls had picked perfectly fine colors for THEIR bedroom and I had gone and rerouted the whole project into what I wanted. Hopes were dashed and creativity was thrown out the window. Feeling a little selfish afterwards, I started talking to God about it. "Why do I want THEIR room to be MY way? Why can't I give this to them, and let them decorate the way they want to?"
When the kids were small, I would pick out everything, their clothes, hairstyle, sippy cups, etc...But now, they are starting to put some tension on those good old apron strings and my reaction is to give a good pull and drag them back to my hip. Sadly, Control has felt at home here with me, to the point that it has left its dirty towels on the bathroom floor for me to pick up.
Anyway, I have decided to relent and go with them on their choice. Control is again feeling like an unwelcome guest and not a part of the family. I don't know when the room will actually get painted, but I am at peace with myself and my daughters. My kids have held the mirror of self-reflection up for me to see again. Each time, I just have to run to the Father and ask why I do what I do. I am eternally grateful that He loves me and has enough patience for me as I work out my issues with Him.
It feels like such a long journey sometimes...
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