Remembering When

This morning I was thinking back to when I had little kids. Now, I have kids but they wouldn't be happy with the use of the adjective "little".  Honestly, those where tough years for me emotionally. I used quite a bit of help from Elisabeth Elliot and the Ezzo's of Babywise fame to get this frazzled mother to the elementary school age.

Elisabeth Elliot wrote many wonderful books including Passion and Purity, Let Me be a Woman, and Discipline: The Glad Surrender. However it was her book, "The Shaping of a Christian Family" that gave me some tools for shaping my little ones. In her book, she talks about having the Bible open on the kitchen counter. This way when the children come to you with a problem (most likely you will be in the kitchen), the Bible is easily accessible for you to thumb through and teach a principle pertaining to the circumstance. I had mine open to Proverbs--it is chalk full of life's wisdom that will be helpful for toddlers...and adults.

Here's one of my favorite memories putting this concept to practice. One day, my 2 and 4 year old came to me while I was in the (you guessed it) kitchen making lunch. They were very upset with each other and requested my assistance in settling a disagreement.

My 4 year old wanted to play cops and robbers and my 2 year old wanted to play house. They were at an impasse. So, we walked over to the counter and I read them a Proverb that pertained to the argument and I brought up the idea of compromise. They walked out of the kitchen a happy family of bank robbers.

The Babywise books really helped me get the kids on a schedule when they were first born. It also gave me some concrete ideas on how to teach my children to put others above themselves. A small example of this would have be the lawn. Lawns and landscaping are not to be walked in unless permission has been granted from the homeowner. This is a small way we can show our neighbors that we see all the hard work they have put into their landscaping.

The Ezzo's also taught on siblings being best friends with each other. Friends come and go throughout the years, but siblings are a constant. They suggested that parents enforce and reinforce the notion that siblings are best friends by asking them who their best friend is, then responding with affirmation when they chose their sibling or with correction--naming the siblings as that child's best friend(s). My husband and I did this practice between ourselves when we had babies. I am so glad to say that my husband is my best-friend!

I have taken the advice of some other voices like Foster Cline and Jim Fay who wrote a wonderful series of   Love and Logic books including Parenting with Love and Logic and Teaching with Love and Logic. No matter what books on child rearing you read, know that your child isn't a chapter in a book or an "if-then" statement. You may need to take the advice from the experts and change it up to meet your needs. And above all, make sure the Bible is your primary source of child rearing. Put it on your counter and just let it be a presence in your home.